Braylen

Well, this post is about a year late but I have finally mustered up the courage and words to tell about our second adoption journey. On this day, one year ago, we got a call at 4am telling us that Braylen had just been born.  Usually, "the call" is one of the most exciting events in the adoption process.  However, the circumstances surrounding our life at this point were anything but normal. It was the beginning of May and Bray was not due until mid June.  Dan was frantically working to finish the final 2 and 1/2 weeks of school, Caleb was 2 weeks away from graduating preschool and on top of that we were all attempting to recover from a tough bout of the flu. Regardless, at 4am, we booked tickets and began quickly throwing things into a suitcase. Thankfully, we have the best support system anyone could ask for and everything began to fall into place.  As I dropped off my kids and hugged my parents and best friend, I sobbed. I was on emotional overload and had no idea when the next time I would see everyone.  That was terrifying to me!

Dan and I boarded our plane and I'm pretty sure I cried the entire 5 hours to Florida.  We arrived in Florida super late that night and crashed at a sketchy hotel close to the airport.  Bright and early the next morning, we drove to the hospital and met the birth mom and then shortly after that, our sweet son.  If you know me at all, you know that I was absolutely petrified and honestly without Dan and his strength as well as being in constant prayer, I probably would have passed out several times. To put it into perspective, I lost 15 pounds on this trip.

Over the next week our situation was anything but easy. Bray was in the NICU for the first week of his life and we were waiting on pins and needles to see if he would actually become ours. We prayed and prayed for the Lords will and by the end of that first week the birth mom signed the papers, he was ours!

The world of adoption is an exciting and happy world on one hand and a sad devastating world on the other.  During our time in Florida we were able to spend some quality time with Brays birth mom.  Seeing the pain she endured as she made the decision for adoption tore me apart. Yes, it is a huge blessing for our family, but its a loss for another.  There will never be a day that goes by that I am not thankful for the love and sacrifice the birth mom showed as she gave her son, our son, a better chance at life.

During our long stay in Florida, we were so fortunate to be hosted by amazing people.  On the front and back end of our stay we had a neat opportunity to reconnect with one of my dear friends from high school! JJ or Jen was so gracious in hosting us in this crazy time of our lives.  She listened, prayed with us and invited us into her world of friends.  I will forever be grateful for our friendship!

The next place we stayed was with two of the most selfless, hospitable people we have ever met and probably will ever meet. We were connected with this family through one of our good friends in Arizona and instantly Suzanne and Joe treated us as if we were their children. They opened up their guest house, fed us, prayed with us, and completely submerged us into their everyday lives with their friends, community and church.  Talk about being the hands and feet of Jesus, these people were the real deal!

While we were in Florida, our community back home rallied around our kids and took care of everything! Dan and I always have known how fortunate we are with the support system we have, but to see what our friends and family did for us was quite staggering!  Between my mom and my best friend, everything was taken care of.  They were often called upon to assure me about the kids and calm me down when I felt so helpless. I'd have to say that I have the best mom in the world and she was unbelievable in taking care of Peyton and Caleb for that amount of time.  It has also become quite evident that I have the best friend anyone could ask for.  Since Dan and I first got married, I prayed daily for 6 years that God would send me a best friend.  I was lonely but I kept praying.  3 years ago, I reconnected with an old friend who is now my very best friend in the whole world and I can't imagine walking through this life without her!  Needless to say, although I so desperately missed my kids, they were in good hands.  Many other gracious folks stepped up to help out as well and for that we will forever be grateful.

After 17 days, we received word that we were cleared by both Arizona and Florida to return home!  We had been feeling quite anxious, not only because we missed everyone, but also because my grandpa was very sick and we wanted to make it home before he passed away.  I honestly don't think I have ever been more excited to receive a simple email.  Dan and I both danced around JJ's house while giving each other high fives (thankfully there was no one else there)!  After a lengthy flight home, my parents and our kids met us at the airport and it was the best day ever!

So here we are one year later... although those 17 days were probably the most stressful days of my life, I would do it all over again for our special little guy. He has been an amazing blessing to our family! Thank you everyone for walking through these last 2 years with us, as we raised money and brought back our little miracle.  None of this would have been possible if it wasn't for the love, support and most importantly, the prayers from each and every one of you!

Happy Birthday to miracle #3... we love you so much!

An end in sight... Adoption Update

I often describe the adoption process as a ride on a roller coaster, up and down, round and round, highs and lows. There is never a dull moment in this emotional yet exciting journey. The past few weeks have been very interesting. Two weeks ago we held our final yard sale where we raised $700! Not only did we receive so many donations of items we also received some very generous gifts. Also one of my good friends gave a Norwex party and donated 20% of the amount made to our adoption fund as well! Little by little God keeps sending these blessings to us as we head towards the end of this part of our journey.  In so many areas of life you develop a "family" like bond. Whether it be a church group, a group of moms going through the sames stages with there children or even a bond with people who have experienced some sort of devastating loss. As humans we feel a closeness with other people walking the same path we walk. The world of adoption is so much like that and the fellow adoptive families who have come out of the woodwork to walk beside us on the journey has been incredible. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

All of the recent craziness began on Friday April 24th, the day of our yard sale.  We were able to sneak away (thanks Bailey!) and Skype with our birth mom. It was then that we learned her blood pressure had sky rocketed and she was most likely going to be admitted to the hospital. If this problem continued, they were going to have to take the baby sometime that week for fear of pre-eclampsia.  At this point, I was a wreck, not only is Dan still in school, the baby would be almost 2 months early which also meant that I would have to stay in Florida for longer than anticipated and to top things off our home study had not been finished!  So, we did the only thing we could do, we prayed. That next Monday morning, I waited for the call from our attorney to see how the appointment went.  That afternoon I talked with my attorneys secretary and she told me that they wanted to admit our BM, however they were going to wait until Wednesday to check her again and if there were no changes she would be admitted.  After I got off the phone I sobbed, I got down on my knees and begged God to be with her and the baby.  I reached out to our family, the church prayer chain and friends on Facebook, and guess what? On Wednesday I received word that her blood pressure had stabilized! Praise the Lord! We were able to Skype again on Friday and she looked like a new person! With all this being said we are still praying daily for her blood pressure and for her to be able to make it to her scheduled c-section date, which is May 29th. We also know that anything can happen until things are official and pray daily for the Lord's will to done and if he sees fit to give us this baby boy that everything goes smoothly. I can't even imagine being on the other end of this, so we pray numerous times a day for our BM (birth moms) heart. Everything is falling into place with housing and we are so very thankful for everyone who has stepped up and connected us with friends and family in Florida!

Thank you all so much for your prayers, gifts and encouragement as we enter this last stretch! We desperately covet your prayers. Hopefully my next post will be to introduce you all to our miracle baby, baby wall #3!

"Trust"

"Trust"... That is the exact word I hear as I pray for this adoption. I find myself doubting more often than not.  It is hard to trust when everything is so uncertain and many situations have not worked out the way we planned.  However, God has shown up in big ways and often at times where we both feel like giving up. I can't even begin to tell you the number of times we talk about throwing in the towel and within the hour we receive an encouraging note or donation.  These moments are so welcomed and much needed as we continually learn the true meaning of trusting our Heavenly Father and replacing our desires for our family with His.  Thank you to everyone who has lifted us up in prayer and walked with us through this journey! Here is an update:

We are about 2 to 2.5 months out from the due date. Since my last update we have been Skyping with the birth mom and our attorney just about every week. We have enjoyed getting to know her and look forward to having a relationship with her for the rest of our lives. A lot of the details of the adoption are up in the air until the due date gets closer.  One detail I have learned is that I will have to stay in the state of Florida 2-4 weeks while the adoption is being finalized. Thankfully, so many people have stepped up and I think I will be able to move between a few different homes so as not to impose on anyone for too long.  I am not looking forward to being away from my husband and other kids for that long though. This process is so stressful, yet so exciting to think that our baby could be in our hands so soon.  We ask... Beg you to join us in prayer for these last few months: 1) pray for the birth mom and her heart, I can't even imagine what she has to go through 2) Pray for the baby that he remains healthy 3) Pray for finances to fall into place, and finally 4) pray for the 4 of us to continue trusting 

Thank you all so much for everything! I will keep you updated! 

Back on the roller coaster...

Hi Friends!

I was very hesitant to give any sort of updates because let's be honest, in the world of adoption, nothing is certain. After a lot of thought I have decided that it is better to share our updates so that we can have others join us in prayer. So here it goes... A few weeks ago I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook, when I happend upon a post from a foster/adoption group I follow. It simply stated: "Adoption opportunity, if interested contact this attorney. However, the birth mom is really looking for someone from her own state."  Well with us being in AZ and this opportunity being in FL, the opportunity did not look very promising.  However, I decided that I would at least give it a shot in the dark and contact them. To my surprise, they contacted me within a few hours and I gave them some of our information.  By the end of that week I had met the birth mom via Skype and we were officially matched!  I still am in some sort of shock. Lord willing, we will have our baby by the end of May or beginning of June. We share all this because we covet any prayers.  Because this is an out of state birth, we are in the dark about how this will play out and welcome any advice!

Prayer Requests:

That the Lord's will be done
For the birth mom
For the baby
For everything to fall into place

Advice welcomed:

If any of you are experienced travelers we need advice on how to go about getting there. We will have to leave when we get word that she is in labor, so we can't necessarily buy tickets in advance.

*On a side note, our entire family was recently able to get together to celebrate my grandpa's 79th birthday. We all had such a great time celebrating him and although he is struggling with stage 4 cancer, he was able to enjoy this special day! Here are some fun pictures...

Update

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 

 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

-James 1:2-4

This has been my favorite set of verses as well as life verse and it continues to bring me hope throughout all the crazy situations life has thrown my way. 

I was anticipating with this next post to deliver you all good news.  However, that is not the case. We were hoping and praying for this baby to be baby Wall #3 but unfortunately, like so many previous times, it appears God has a different plan.  Though our agency is continuing to be hopeful that the birth mom will contact them when she goes into labor, they have lost contact with her for quite some time. With the due date here and gone, and no contact from the birth mom, it looks like this little boy will not be the one for our family.   

As we continue to ride the roller coaster that has been this whole adoption process, Dan and I are constantly provided with opportunities to grow in our faith as we continue to trust the Lord and his plan for our family.  While we are certainly disappointed in what appears to be the outcome of this situation and unsure of the road ahead, we are still praying for baby Wall #3 and have complete faith that he or she will arrive in God's perfect timing.

With all that being said, we are so appreciative of your prayers for this journey our family continues to pursue.  We will remain on board with our agency in CA.  However, we are always open to other avenues as well. You never know who you will come across, so please continue to get our name out there. 

Thank you for your words of encouragement, support and most importantly prayers! We are excited to see what 2015 holds!

We Are Matched!

 

We have some exciting news to share... We were matched! For those of you that do not understand the adoption lingo, being matched means that we were chosen by a birth mom to adopt her baby. Those 3 little words "you've been matched" are the words we have been waiting 8 months to hear! Lord willing we will have baby Wall #3 in our arms in 1.5 months! My sister in law asked me if I was guardly optimistic, unsure if it's actually going to happen or excited... I responded by saying "all of the above!" The world of adoption is such a roller coaster of emotions that Dan and I have learned to guard our hearts almost to a fault. When I received the call that we had been matched I tried my hardest to respond with udder joy, while in the back of my head I struggled with doubt. I am beginning to feel more and more optimistic because everything keeps falling into place at the perfect time. Also, the more I learn about the birth mom the more excited I become. We are headed out to California next week to figure out more details and meet the birth mom, which we are super excited about! We both feel that the relationship between us and her is such a key part of this process which is why we are so excited to meet her.  Obviously nothing is set in stone and anything can happen between now and next month.  However, we are trusting the Lord and his will!

Prayer Requests:
-For the Lords will to be done
-For the birth mom
-For the baby
-For finances to fall into place
-Smooth adoption process
-Dan, Caleb, Peyton and my hearts to be prepared for lots of change

We are so ready to add another little one to our family!

*Pictures taken by Michelle Lee Photography for our adoption profile

Basketball & Baby

Wow, it's been a long time since I have sat down to write. We have been so busy with the hustle and bustle of life that I haven't even had time to think let alone write. This week we started our family's (and when I say "family's" I mean extended as well) favorite time if year! We all love the holidays.  However, if you know our family at all you know that our priorities go like this: # 1, our faith and relationship with Jesus, # 2, family and # 3, basketball. Let me give you a little insight to the Wall/ Showers families.  Both Dan's dad and my dad are Varsity girls coaches.  All of Dan's siblings, our sister-in-law, and Amanda and I played college basketball.  Dan's little brother is playing professionally in the Czech Republic.  Dan is the varsity boys coach here in Camp Verde.  I coach the JV girls, and both of my sister's in law have coached or are coaching presently. Whoa... That was a mouthful! I'm sure you get the picture to why this is our favorite time of year!:)

     

I have gotten many questions on how we both coach during the season with kids.  Well, thankfully, my kids do not know the difference.  They both have been in the gym from the time they were born. Where most kids get scared of the loud horn or the plethora of high school kids, my children welcome it and feel at home. Dan and I were recently talking about how thankful we are for our athletes because they play with/ watch our kids all the time and our kids love them.

                                

Although we are jumping head first into basketball season, I still daily think and pray, wondering when God will bless us with another child.  Patience is not my strong suit and throughout this whole process I have been tested and tested by God in that area. I always say, "If I had it my way I'd have 6 kids by now."  But my ways are not his ways and that has been very difficult to accept.  Constantly I have people reminding me that it will happen in God's timing and that is comforting to a degree.  However, when you are walking daily in the when's, what ifs, whys and so on it can be very challenging.

We are still working with an agency in CA and just recently had a slew of pictures taken for our adoptive profile! We are not closed to other avenues of adoption and want to continue to get our name out there, as you never know who will read this blog or who you will run into. Thank you so much for your continued prayers and the financial support we have received.  We continue to pray for baby Wall #3 as we cannot wait to see who God has in store for our family!